A Year and a Half!!!

Dear Jack B’Hat,
What in the world happened? Time has gone by so incredibly fast that all of a sudden you’re a year and a half old! You had your well baby doctor visit today and the nurse asked, “Can he say at least three words?” When I hear that I was all, “Pshaw! He can say like 30!” which pretty puts you at genius caliber, I’m certain.

They also asked if you stack things. Dad responded with, “Yeah. He’s a stacking sonofabitch!” I was nodding in agreement when I realized what the implications of that statement actually meant.. And honestly, that is how your dad reenacts the scenario. Really, he responded with, “Yes. He stacks quite well, thank you.”
Anyway, here are some things that happened this month:

1. You play the piano! Sort of. You touch the keys, but we think you’re a natural since you actually press the keys instead of pounding them like you do the drum..or your stuffed animals,or balls, or pretty much everything else you touch. And you look adorable at the piano! Might we have a maestro in the family? Only time will tell.

2. You’re still climbing, Yaya bought you a toddler sized chair for you to sit in because, partly, she saw pictures of you climbing onto the big people furniture – specifically from ottoman to table top – and that concerned her. So, the toddler chair is nice.. except that you climb into it sideways, face first, your feet flailing out the side. Once you’re in it, you stand up, hike one leg over the side, dangle for a moment before sliding back onto the floor. (Ahem) I do have to say that I’m glad you have this chair to much bananas and goldfish in, but other than that, I can’t say that it’s more “safe.”

3. New words I’ve heard you say this month include: ou-fy (outside), shos (shoes), shaws (socks), book, swing, show, and Nononononononoooo. Yeah. Love the last one.

4. You can beatbox. Seriously. This is an accomplishment I’m very proud of. When Biz Marquee comes on to do his spot on Yo Gabba Gabba, you turn around and start zerberting into your palm and dancing. The first time I saw you do this, I was stunned, then laughed histerically, and then dove for the camera. This is the response given every time you do this.

You are growing so fast, little one. I love you so, so much and am proud of everything you do!

Love,
Momma

17 Months

Dear Jack B’Hat,

You’re 17 months old today. At the grocery store yesterday, the bag boy asked me how old you are and I said, “Almost 17 months old.” He wrinkled his brow, looked up at the ceiling and said, “So how old is he?” I stopped, wrinkled my brow and tried my hand at the calculation. What I figured is that I need to stop saying your age in months. You’re almost a year and a half.

Here are some things that have happened recently:

1. You’ve learned to kiss!!! I’m in love with this. I say, “Jack can I have a kiss?” and you pucker your lips, lean in and swack me wherever you land. Sometimes it’s the cheek, sometimes it’s the air near my cheek, and sometimes it’s right on my mouth! Dada says that it’s weird for me to allow you to do that, but I say, “No! It’s perfectly fine! Auntie Jen and Auntie Lisa have kissing walls in their houses with their family, so it’s not such a stretch. Besides, it’s not like we’re making out!” I don’t care what Dada says. I think it’s amazing, and sweet, and wonderful. I know that later in your life, you won’t want to kiss your Momma, so I’m savoring all the opportunities I get!

2. You can now climb up onto all of the furniture. You use the couches and ottomans to climb onto tables, and we’re pretty much doomed.

3. I’m going to tell the world that you are not a couch potato, and that you don’t watch too much TV. But perhaps I’ll have to revise my claim when I say that you know Yo Gabba Gabba so well that you recognize when DJ Lance says, “It’s almost time to go.” At those words, you throw yourself onto the floor, bury your head in your hands and yell, “Uh Oh!!!” I imagine if you could, you’d rise up, throw your fist in the air, and scream, “OH THE HUMANITY!” But sadly the words won’t come.

4. Everything is a telephone. You hold objects to your ear and say, “Wa Row?” which is you’re version of “hello?” Then you either chatter to yourself or continue with, “Wa row? Wa row? Uh oh!!” So. Flippin’ Cute.

5. You’re finally exploring in the yard! Until now, you wouldn’t venture away from the safety of the concrete into the unknown jungle of the grass. But one day, you just did it. You ran into the grass and then back and then out and then back. So now, you’re everywhere. Good luck to Momma and Dada in the airport this Christmas... (sigh) How much are those kid leashes?

All in all it’s been a wonderful month! I love you, B’Hat and am so glad to be your Momma!!

Kisses! (Because you can!),

Momma

Happy Halloween!!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

16 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

I'm 34.

I know that's a weird way to start a letter to you because depending on how old you are when you read this determines how much it matters. In my mind you're on the computer after having tucked in your own dear ones, and you're about to write a letter to them detailing the events of the month. You've come here, curious about any comparisons between who you were at their age and who they are now, and you miss me. By then, technology will have advanced so much that the computer you're on won't be recognized by my generation as a computer. It will be foreign and vague and will be the sort of thing that causes much frustration to me and stifled giggles to you.

Anyway, I suppose the reason I mention my age is because I just had a birthday two days ago. So, you are 16 moths old and I'm 34. Time goosesteps on. I keep whispering in your ear, "That's big enough, ok. Stay my little one!" That said, I know it's good that you're growing up. I remind myself that this time is the best time and that will be true of each moment your whole life.

Here are some things that have happened this month:

1. You've begun to climb. It's not ok. You hike your leg up onto whatever piece of furniture - especially the rocking chair in your room - you're standing next to. If that piece of furniture has anything to grab onto, you can hoist yourself up.The reason this is difficult is that after you get on whatever you're climbing, you stand up. Sitting, apparently, is anathema to your morals so,by golly, YOU WILL STAND. And then cry because you can't get down.

2. You like football. You yell, "Go Tech!" or really, your version is "Yeah Yeah!!" You wave your fist in the air and cheer, "Yay!" You do this when you see a football field on the TV.

3. Your Maha (or Yaya or YaPaw or whatever the heck she's called. I call her Mom.) has taught you to hold bath toys in the air and yell, "Cannonball!" and then drop them. You learned very quickly and play "Cannonball!" with everything - the bath toys, other toys, food, my cell phone etc. Of course you don't really say, "cannonball", it sounds like "Lalalaaaaa!" But we all get what you're doing. Thanks for that game, Maha.. ;)4. You've begun to chatter. A lot. You chatter all the time and sometimes sing. It's the sweetest thing I've ever heard. It's particularly fun when your chatter sounds like cursing. Your dad and I look at each other and giggle, and then we renew our vows to stop cursing when it dawns on us that you might really be using words that we taught you. Shit!

5. New vocabulary word of the month: Teetee. You say this during diaper changes. To recap, you know Momma, Dada, Casey, rock, ball, and teetee. As Auntie Chrif-teen says, "You know who your parents are, the pet, a toy, and your penis. Yep. Pure boy." The other day, and this is an over share, you were patting my belly, as per the instructions of your father, and then patted lower and said, "teetee". Son, we have some things to talk about. Better yet, go ask your father.

6. I saw you jump in place on Friday. It's the first time I've seen you do that, and I think it scared you a little bit. This, especially with the knowledge that you are learning to climb, is so. freaking. scary to me. Please, may jumping scare you a little while longer, at least until I learn how to handle the climbing part. Please?
Jack, you are growing up to be such a sweet, wonderful, smart boy! I love you so much, baby. I'm glad to be your momma.

-Momma

All this and more..

on the Flickr.

15 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

Today I was talking to our school librarian, Mrs. Bean, about how adorable you are. I said, "Isn't Baby Jack so freakin' cute?" (I'm humble like that.)

She said, "He's adorable and not so much a baby anymore. He's Toddler Jack by now. How old is he? A year old?"

"What? No," I said, frantically trying to calculate whether or not you are a year old. "I mean he's almost 15 months old."

And that's the problem. In my head 15 month does not equate to one year old and counting. I still very much consider you my baby. I think this is a common problem for mothers, whether their sons are 15 months old or 33 years. But yes. You are 15 months old today and you are adorable and hilarious!

Here are some things that have happened this month:
1. You stand in bowls. I know. It's weird. But that's what you do. I pretend that you're doing performance art as you carefully lift your leg over the lip of the bowl, gently place it in, then carefully do the same with the other. You stand there, in the bowl, for two to five seconds and then very gently step out again. I clap. Because, seriously. What else is there to do?

2. You used to throw horrible crying fits when you didn't get your way. Now you just scruntch up your brow, lean your head back, open your mouth and slowly fuss, "a' hat, a'hat, a'haaaaaat." It's the most pitiful thing I've ever seen. And also hilarious. My laughter makes it worse. I try not to laugh, but COME ON!

3. I'm trying not to be offended by the fact that you point at Casey cat and say "Ca-sss" - your way of saying "Casey." Then you turn to me and hit me while you say "Momma!" and then you pat Dad and say, "Momma" and then you point at the couch and say "Momma" and then at the weird alien things on Yo Gabba Gabba and say "Momma." But Casey is always Ca-sss. Dad says we should ignore you, put our butts in your face, and walk across you to get to our food. That way you might learn who we are. I'll take the more patient approach of pointing at myself and saying "Momma" over and over again. (sigh)

4. You love bike rides!! A while back Dad got me a kid's bike seat for Mother's Day. We finally installed it on his bike, and now the family can go one bike rides! You wear your Sesame Street helmet (which you are not fond of, but I insist that it must be worn) and we ride to the park where we stop and play. Then it's back on the bike to head for home.

5. All of a sudden you hate the bath. Remember all of those bath pictures where you are all smiles and giggles and splashing and playing? Those days are gone. It was sudden. One day you decided that you hate the bath and you SCREAM. I can't even get you to sit in the water. Sometimes you get so worked up that you break out into hives. For the life of me, I don't know why the sudden change. Dad and I are doing everything we know how to do to keep you calm. We both go in the bathroom with you. We try distraction/entertainment/ music/ANYTHING. I've gotten in with you. I hug you through the baths sometimes. Still, nothing works. The best we can hope for is that we move quickly enough that you don't go into hysterics. :(

6. I wasn't going to mention this, but Aunt Chrif-teen says I HAVE to just so that you'll be embarrassed when you're a teenager. You do panty raids... on my underwear drawer. It's a good thing I'm not modest because you get into my panty drawer, pull as many pairs out as you can, and then strategically place them around the house - in other drawers (the silverware one, included), in the trash cans, in toy baskets, etc. You do not do this with Dad's underwear or socks. Just mine. Dad says you're gifted.

Overall, you are a healthy, happy baby! Er. healthy, happy toddler. It has been 15 months since you got here and I am still so proud to be your Momma. I love you Jack B'Hat!!

-Momma

Testing Limits

This has been happening far too often lately:

Step 1: Check to see that Momma is watching.


Step 2: Wind up a very theatrical/pitiful fit.

Step3: Continue throwing the fit whilst going about your business.

Step 4: Get over the fit when you realize no one is paying attention OR when the cat distracts you for a second.

Step 5: Resume the fit at a later time.