Wednesday, August 11, 2010

26 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

You are growing so quickly right now! You often surprise us with things that we know we haven't taught you. Probably we will get used to it since once you're at school that will happen all of the time, at least until you're a teenager and decide to quit telling us things. But for now, it's surprising and wonderful and scary.

I have to be frank and tell you (for the integrity of the record) that things are kind of tense around here. Some of the reason is you wield the word "no" like a ninja samurai in the middle of a heated battle. This is the battle: we have the audacity to suggest that you eat a snack, or watch a show, or play with your cars. Any request/suggestion/demand/idea is treated with the same abhorrence. Simply put, you've gotten a bit of an attitude. And when Dada or I respond with a "yes" to your "no", you throw yourself in the floor and scream bloody murder. Shrieking din might be a better description for the sound that comes out of your mouth. This happens anywhere and everywhere and is such a shocking change from your usually even temperament.

Tonight, for example, we interviewed for a new babysitter/preschool since your current one decided to resign. Suffice it to say, it did not go well. At. All. In fact, the new sitter suggested that you weren't ready to come to her house because you would possibly be a distraction to the other kids. I begged her to give us a chance - all of us since you are a reflection of us and we lovingly and proudly represent you, fit or no fit. She is going to give us a two week trial, and hopefully by then we'll have some things ironed out.

We don't understand the sudden change. It's been a long, difficult summer mostly spent with just the two of us since Dada was away working. I probably allowed you to break more rules than I should have. Still, you didn't throw these kinds of fits. Also, we've had some tough times recently: the new daycare that didn't work, schedules that kept changing, the air conditioner that broke (twice - we spent the night in a hotel last night..*), your molars are probably coming in, etc.. I don't know.

Momma and Dada are exhausted and stressed to the max, so I can only imagine what it might be like for a little one like you who can only express yourself through actions. I just wish I knew how to make it better for all of us.

I love you baby. I know it will get better as soon as everything calms down some. Sorry to be a downer this time, but I figure that our relationship has to be genuine. When you are big enough to truly understand these letters, I trust you will also be big enough to understand that life isn't always perfect.

Still, with all of this challenge, I am so proud to be your momma. I love you more than I can explain. My heart is just bursting!

*Reason why this is a late post