Dear Jack B'Hat,
You finally live in Eng-wend!! After months and months of talking about it, and pretending to ride on the big airplane, we did it! I have to say, the last month has been one of the most difficult in my life. The move wasn't necessarily the hard part. That was all paperwork and organization. The part that was hard was leaving people we love and trust and who love us back.

Of course I'm talking about grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins and friends. But also, there was Ms. Laura. How in the big wide world were we ever going to find another Ms. Laura? As your Momma, I knew it wasn't really possible. I settled into the idea that we would just have to "settle" and that maybe in this transition to pre-pre-school, you wouldn't notice that any major change had been made. But that was a ludicrous idea! Not so much for you. You're very flexible at the moment. It was more about my meltdown, and how no one was going to be good enough.. UNTIL we met Jackie.\

Jack, you are one lucky kid to have such amazing people in your life. Jackie, a very British, free spirited lady has just taken to you like a bee to flowers. She calls you her Mensa boy and goes on about how smart you are, "and the puzzles! he loves his puzzles, doesn't he?" She's taught you about scaffolding for roof repair, where water goes when it goes down the drain, and that you shouldn't touch anyone else's poo, particularly Baby Bode's. The reason I know these things is because you tell me all about them.

In fact, sometimes I worry that you get so upset when it's time to come home. You love being at Jackie's and next week, all of the other kids come, too! Your school is called "Little Mac Nursery" and there are 8 kids coming from 6 different nationalities. It's basically an international pre-school that is literally around the corner from our house. We walk every morning to get there. LOVELY!

Overall, you are adapting nicely. We've taken a couple of small road trips - Bath, for example and last week end we went to Windsor. In any case, your favorite parts are most definitely the playgrounds (as it should be), and you are a healthy, happy kid!

Love you, Jack B'hat!

Momma

JACK IS THREE!

Dear Jack B'Hat,
I can hardly believe I'm saying this but... Today you are three! THREE!!!
Everyone is in town to celebrate. Yaya is here and so are Grammy and Grand Schmob. We have a big boy party planned at Chuck E. Cheese complete with monster cake, pizza, party favors and rides! (Pictures to follow.)
When Yaya arrived she asked me if I felt better today than I did three years ago. I paused to understand what she meant when - oh yeah - I was in labor. So, yes. The answer is yes. I am much more comfortable, both as your momma and as a person.
Things are definitely crazy right now. The house is in boxes. We aren't sure when we'll move to England or where we'll live when we get there. We don't know what exactly we'll do when we get there. What we do know is we're chalking it up to having an adventure. We know that because we love each other - your Dada, you and me - that we'll be fine. Better than fine, actually. We'll be fantastic.
So happy birthday, my sweet three year old! Your life is on a path to brilliance. You're incredibly smart, curious, well spoken, and sweet. Nothing but good things are coming. I love you baby (ahem) little boy!!
Love,
Momma

30 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

I missed your monthly post day due to work, but it is only a day late. Maybe it will give you some consolation to know that I received this message in my email today:

http://www.portablenorthpole.tv/watch/guest/0RUIn8-qvKotE7Bz0EilBA


We're totally ready for Christmas! The house is decorated to the point that your Aunt Gagi would be proud! The tree is gorgeous; the mantel looks like a wintry wonderland; there are little pockets of Christmas cheer all over the house, including a fiber optic snowman in your room and tiny spruce bouquets in all of the bathrooms. We even bought Christmas cacti from the AHS FFA and they are in bloom! Jack, you inspired and helped with all of it!! We even made Christmas cookies and hot cocoa on the day we hung the lights outside!!

Needless to say, your Dada and I are so looking forward to Christmas this year, especially now that you are more aware of the holiday. You remind us of the magic and wonder Christmas brings. :) Happy 30th month, baby!!

I'm proud to be your Momma!

Love,

Momma

29 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

Hi! This has been a very eventful month with all the Halloween goings on and such. In fact, I'm exhauseted and so are you most days. We both give everyday our all and by the time our heads hit our pillows, we're out. I'm going to keep this letter short and sweet.

Here are some things that have happened this month:

*You went trick or treating for the very first time!! It was awesome! You were a blue "color" and Momma wore her striped hose and a witches hat. We held hands and walked around the neighborhood. We looked for "porch lights on?" and you were in charge of ringing the doorbells. Sometimes you weren't very enthusiastic in your doorbell ringing, but as soon as the door was opened, people melted at the sight of you! "How cute!!!" they would exclaim. You would whisper, "twickotweet?" and folks dropped candy in your pumpkin bucket. Then you would say, "I'm goin' to the park!" I don't know why you felt the need to tell people that. Still, it was pretty cute.

* You are especially eager to play in the dirt lately. When I say "play in the dirt" I mean that you dig in a flower pot and shovel the soil into your dump truck. You're such a boy.

* This is probably too much information, but everytime you toot, you mention that you've done it, and then Dada reminds you to say "e-choos me."

(Dada's input here)

I love you, Baby Boy! I'm proud to be your Momma!!!

Love,

Momma

28 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

Hi! I miss you. I suppose this is a milestone in that it is the first time that you are on vacation without Mama and Dada. You're in Amarillo (and have been for almost a whole week) visiting your Grammy and Grand Schmob and all of your thousands of cousins and people who love you. In a way I'm very jealous, but also Dada and I are going on a vacation too. The house has seemed too quiet without Dora and Diego in the background, your percussion practice, and the lovely, continual chattering you do. But I do know that you are happy and having a great time thanks to your grandparents. And I can witness it for myself thanks to Skype!!!
In the mean time, here are some noteworthy happenings this month:

1. You went on your first field trip with Ms. Laura!! She took you, along with two other kids, to a farm in Burleson where you got to play in hay, see animals, and pick out your very own Jack-sized pumpkin. You had a great time! For me, it is a reminder of what a big boy you're becoming!!

2. We taught you how to "Eskimo kiss" where we rub noses. I don't think you've quite figured out that you are supposed to actually touch, though. You mostly just wiggle your head back and fourth with your nose in the air. That's worked out well since that's about as close as a Momma and her boy can get on Skype. Did I mention that I miss you??

3. Your language skills are incredible. It shouldn't come as that big of a shock since language acquisition is the milestone that is agreed upon in all of the parenting books. Still, it's fascinating to watch you learn language! I can't even keep up with all of the words that you're learning, words like: mailbox, ambulance, ice cream truck (the vehicle you confuse with an ambulance), and no way! You speak in complete sentences sometimes which sounds really nuts coming from our sweet baby.. ahem.. big boy.

4. Speaking of "no way!",you say this. Often. Especially when you emphatically don't want to do something. I haven't taught you that sometimes being concise is best. A simple, firm "no", for example, would probably be more effective than a "no way!" which actually is cute and endearing, probably the opposite effect of what you're going for.
5. You're afraid of the potty. Damn. I mean, you're interested in it, as long as you aren't the one having to use it. Anytime we ask you if you want to sit on the potty, you say, "Sure!" The non-negotiable part of that "sure" is that you meant you wanted only to look at the potty, and if forced to sit upon it, you would very much like to leave your diaper on and your pants fastened at the waist. If Dada or I try to actually sit you on the potty properly, all hell breaks loose - screaming and gnashing of teeth, darkness descending onto the planet, monsters devouring babies, etc.. You get the picture, and it's not pleasant. What are we going to do?

6. You're the most wonderful kid on the planet. All of your grandparents marvel at how pleasant and happy you are - that you don't mind taking naps and wake-up happy in the mornings. They are curious as to how you - our phenomenal boy - could possibly be part of our brood. But Dada and I know the answer. It's because you are all the best parts of both of us combined, and by some miracle your genetic code didn't pick up our vastly annoying character flaws.

We love you, Jack. I can't wait to see you soon.

Love,

Mamma

27 Months

Hi Jack B'Hat!

You are so happy! Seriously! Ever since we switched babysitters, you've been over-the-moon happy! Everyday you go to Ms Laura's you run to her and squeal her name. When I buckle you into the car on the way home from her house you look at me with big, concerned eyes and ask, "Lawa? Lawa?" I'm pretty sure there is lots of dancing at her house which is your favorite activity, but also she has two little girls who dote on you - they pick you up, hug you, kiss you, and pet you. You LOVE them. Also, you get to sleep on your nap mat which, coincidentally, is your new favorite word. You walk around the house saying, "Nap mat? Nap mat? Nap! Mat! Animals!!"

Needless to say, I am thrilled with our new arrangement. It is so much nicer to be around a happy boy rather than a sulky, fit throwing one. I'm sad to question the idea that perhaps it's because you disliked your other sitter and that I made you go there anyway. But then, the weather is cooling, you know more words, we're back on schedule, and things generally seem to be looking up. Maybe you're through another phase.

Here are some tidbits about you this month:

1. You like the word, "Mud" - Mud i' duwt n wadder. Twactor inna duwt. Mud. - Translated as "Mud is dirt and water. Tractors are in the dirt. Mud."

2. You love to read. We have a new coffee table book , courtesy of your Aunt Renee, about the Cotswolds in England - little cottagey towns with gorgeous church steeples, pastoral fields of sheep, and sleepy kittens sitting on stone walls. You adore this book. You point at each page and ask, "What's that?" And I say, "sheep" or "church" or "flowers" or whatever it is. You concentrate really hard and respond, "Oh. Yes." And then I question you.

3. We've gotten into the good habit of reading before bed. The bad habit is I let you take your books to bed with you. Dada does not. When Dada was working late the other night, I tucked you in with the aforementioned Cotswold book and I turned on a nightlight so you could see. For an hour I could hear you turning pages and quizzing yourself, "Oh. Yes. That a road. Cow, Moooo. Church." What's the harm?

4. You really enjoyed playing with your cousins, Duncan and Bobby last week end. You called Bobby "Body" followed by something that sounded like "the wonder duck." We had a great time and it was fun watching you interact with the bigger boys, and of course with your Mamaw and Aunt Renee and Uncle Gerry.

5. Favorite show - Dora

6. Favorite book - Oakey

7. Favorite food - (nothing) Please eat, baby! You make me nervous!

8. Favorite possession - Nap! (your beloved blankie)

You're a happy, healthy kiddo, Jack! I love you so much and am glad to be your Momma!!!

Love,

Momma

26 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

You are growing so quickly right now! You often surprise us with things that we know we haven't taught you. Probably we will get used to it since once you're at school that will happen all of the time, at least until you're a teenager and decide to quit telling us things. But for now, it's surprising and wonderful and scary.

I have to be frank and tell you (for the integrity of the record) that things are kind of tense around here. Some of the reason is you wield the word "no" like a ninja samurai in the middle of a heated battle. This is the battle: we have the audacity to suggest that you eat a snack, or watch a show, or play with your cars. Any request/suggestion/demand/idea is treated with the same abhorrence. Simply put, you've gotten a bit of an attitude. And when Dada or I respond with a "yes" to your "no", you throw yourself in the floor and scream bloody murder. Shrieking din might be a better description for the sound that comes out of your mouth. This happens anywhere and everywhere and is such a shocking change from your usually even temperament.

Tonight, for example, we interviewed for a new babysitter/preschool since your current one decided to resign. Suffice it to say, it did not go well. At. All. In fact, the new sitter suggested that you weren't ready to come to her house because you would possibly be a distraction to the other kids. I begged her to give us a chance - all of us since you are a reflection of us and we lovingly and proudly represent you, fit or no fit. She is going to give us a two week trial, and hopefully by then we'll have some things ironed out.

We don't understand the sudden change. It's been a long, difficult summer mostly spent with just the two of us since Dada was away working. I probably allowed you to break more rules than I should have. Still, you didn't throw these kinds of fits. Also, we've had some tough times recently: the new daycare that didn't work, schedules that kept changing, the air conditioner that broke (twice - we spent the night in a hotel last night..*), your molars are probably coming in, etc.. I don't know.

Momma and Dada are exhausted and stressed to the max, so I can only imagine what it might be like for a little one like you who can only express yourself through actions. I just wish I knew how to make it better for all of us.

I love you baby. I know it will get better as soon as everything calms down some. Sorry to be a downer this time, but I figure that our relationship has to be genuine. When you are big enough to truly understand these letters, I trust you will also be big enough to understand that life isn't always perfect.

Still, with all of this challenge, I am so proud to be your momma. I love you more than I can explain. My heart is just bursting!
Love,
Momma


*Reason why this is a late post

Jack's 2nd Birthday

This is being posted a little bit late - my apologies!- but we've been busy, busy!!
I love you, Jack. Here's what we were up to on your second birthday!!

22 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,Happy 22nd month!! You are so close to two and have already begun what grown-ups call "the terrible twos." When they say this they mean that their children are no longer able to be contained as they once were, and they get into everything they can possibly get into, even though their parents spent a tremendous amount of time and money making sure that they couldn't get into anything. (shaking and rocking) But they do...Anyway, you're there kid. We've learned that you laugh in the face of the baby-proofing industry and you openly mock anyone who calls himself an expert on toddler rearing. It's a really good thing you're so freaking cute since you are testing both the limits of what you can and cannot do and also the limits of your parents patience. (!) (Right now you are standing in a chair, defiantly looking at me..)Sadly, Momma has been pretty sick this week and couchbound as a result. Even now my body is wondering why I'm vertical. I'll have to post some pictures and leave it at that this month. But please know that I love you with all of my heart. It makes my heart warm when you say it back. The best is when you bring your nap to me and ask to snuggle. You're the best kid on the planet!!

I love you!!!

Momma

21 Months: Vlog

20 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,
I miss you. Today you are 20 months old, and I am not with you. I am in Boston (and probably by the time I post this, will be in the airport or on the airplane) making huge decisions that will affect the rest of our lives. I suppose this space is where I can be most honest. Dada and I are at a job fair interviewing and negotiating positions and livelihoods in international schools. One of the ones we are looking at is what I would consider the perfect community. As I type we are waiting to here whether or not we are picked. Then we have a decision to make. There is another option on the table, as well, in a place we like less, but that would still be an incredible experience for our family. We are excited and nervous and afraid and optimistic, all at the same time. You are so important to us- we love you so much - and we want what's best for you.

Anyway, enough about that. I'll talk about some things that have happened this month:

1. You said your first sentence this month! (sort of) You asked, "Where shoes go?" and you shrugged your shoulders, your palms up. It was adorable!!

2. Speaking of shoes, you've decided that shoes are awesome. You don't want to take them off. It could have something to do with the fact that your dad says things like, "Look! Jack's wearing shoes like a big boy!" And then everyone claps. It's great when we're going somewhere, but taking naps in shoes is a problem.

3. You've become really good at celebrating. You throw your arms in the air, your shirt popping over your belly, and you cheer! You may or may not combine this with a happy dance. It depends on the celebration. Shoes=arm raise and happy dance. Fruit=arm raise only.

4. You recognize people in photographs, especially Yaya. You open photo albums and start naming people, just like you do with baby animals in picture books.

5. You say "Christine" and "J", or a version of these anyway. This warms their hearts. They love you very much.

6. You got more teeth, finally. It's been a while since anything happened on that front. I firmly believe that getting all four i-teeth at the same time is what made you so sick this month. We had to skip a lot of Nanny time because of your illness. Oye. Molars are next.

7. You can almost turn door knobs. You understand the mechanics of how it works, but you aren't quite strong enough yet. This is going to pose a problem..

Ok, Jack B'Hat, I have another interview to attend. I have to go. But I love you very much, and as always, I am proud to be your Momma.

Love,
Momma
p.s. We decided to stay where we are at the moment..

19 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

You're 19 months old and I don't think I can account for all of the new things you are doing! It's like all of a sudden, someone switched on the "learn" button, and you're running at hyper speed. I'll do the best I can. Here goes:


1. I suppose the most important thing is you learned how to say the word "no". I blame your Uncle Dutch for this because over Christmas he showed you where the piano keyboard was and all you wanted to do was play. Uncle Dutch got bored of the game before you did and kept telling you "No, not right now."

The weird thing is the way you say "no". I say, "Jack, do you want to eat?" You cock your head to the side, like you're really considering the question, shake your head and say in a considerate tone,"naw". It's very pleasant, actually. But then pretty much everything you say is sweet to me.

2. You make up games. For example today you had a ball and two (plastic) golf clubs. You hit the ball into the grass and then looked at me. If I started towards the ball, you would run past me to get there first. Then you'd swat at the ball until it was back on the concrete. You giggled to yourself, like you were getting away with something, but it was clear that I, as usual, was a pawn in your little game. I love the creativity, though!

3. You're learning words like crazy! You say "nano" for piano, "caw" for car, swing, show, nap (the name for your blankie), Yaya, Nana, "Gandy" for Grandy, bath (which you despise!), green, red, blue, roar, baby, etc. This is in addition to all the words you know already!

4. You're starting to recognize people in pictures. Well, you only recognize one person in pictures: Yaya. In drawings, you call anything fuzzy "Casey" unless it's a duck Then you yell DUCK! Sometimes you point at pictures of Gramps and say, "baby." I think it's because he's bald. If you pet Casey, you say "sweet" even if you are pounding on his back. This is a result of us cautioning you to be sweet to Casey since you mostly tend to pound on his back.

I'm sorry to cut this one short, but you're crying because you've just finished a bath which was, apparently, your worst nightmare come true. Your dad sounds frustrated and keeps saying, "Oh, Baby Jack, oh Baby Jack.." Bath time is tough time which is why we usually tag-team it. We love you, though.

Happy 19 months, Baby Boy! I'm proud to be your momma!

Love,

Momma

A Year and a Half!!!

Dear Jack B’Hat,
What in the world happened? Time has gone by so incredibly fast that all of a sudden you’re a year and a half old! You had your well baby doctor visit today and the nurse asked, “Can he say at least three words?” When I hear that I was all, “Pshaw! He can say like 30!” which pretty puts you at genius caliber, I’m certain.

They also asked if you stack things. Dad responded with, “Yeah. He’s a stacking sonofabitch!” I was nodding in agreement when I realized what the implications of that statement actually meant.. And honestly, that is how your dad reenacts the scenario. Really, he responded with, “Yes. He stacks quite well, thank you.”
Anyway, here are some things that happened this month:

1. You play the piano! Sort of. You touch the keys, but we think you’re a natural since you actually press the keys instead of pounding them like you do the drum..or your stuffed animals,or balls, or pretty much everything else you touch. And you look adorable at the piano! Might we have a maestro in the family? Only time will tell.

2. You’re still climbing, Yaya bought you a toddler sized chair for you to sit in because, partly, she saw pictures of you climbing onto the big people furniture – specifically from ottoman to table top – and that concerned her. So, the toddler chair is nice.. except that you climb into it sideways, face first, your feet flailing out the side. Once you’re in it, you stand up, hike one leg over the side, dangle for a moment before sliding back onto the floor. (Ahem) I do have to say that I’m glad you have this chair to much bananas and goldfish in, but other than that, I can’t say that it’s more “safe.”

3. New words I’ve heard you say this month include: ou-fy (outside), shos (shoes), shaws (socks), book, swing, show, and Nononononononoooo. Yeah. Love the last one.

4. You can beatbox. Seriously. This is an accomplishment I’m very proud of. When Biz Marquee comes on to do his spot on Yo Gabba Gabba, you turn around and start zerberting into your palm and dancing. The first time I saw you do this, I was stunned, then laughed histerically, and then dove for the camera. This is the response given every time you do this.

You are growing so fast, little one. I love you so, so much and am proud of everything you do!

Love,
Momma

17 Months

Dear Jack B’Hat,

You’re 17 months old today. At the grocery store yesterday, the bag boy asked me how old you are and I said, “Almost 17 months old.” He wrinkled his brow, looked up at the ceiling and said, “So how old is he?” I stopped, wrinkled my brow and tried my hand at the calculation. What I figured is that I need to stop saying your age in months. You’re almost a year and a half.

Here are some things that have happened recently:

1. You’ve learned to kiss!!! I’m in love with this. I say, “Jack can I have a kiss?” and you pucker your lips, lean in and swack me wherever you land. Sometimes it’s the cheek, sometimes it’s the air near my cheek, and sometimes it’s right on my mouth! Dada says that it’s weird for me to allow you to do that, but I say, “No! It’s perfectly fine! Auntie Jen and Auntie Lisa have kissing walls in their houses with their family, so it’s not such a stretch. Besides, it’s not like we’re making out!” I don’t care what Dada says. I think it’s amazing, and sweet, and wonderful. I know that later in your life, you won’t want to kiss your Momma, so I’m savoring all the opportunities I get!

2. You can now climb up onto all of the furniture. You use the couches and ottomans to climb onto tables, and we’re pretty much doomed.

3. I’m going to tell the world that you are not a couch potato, and that you don’t watch too much TV. But perhaps I’ll have to revise my claim when I say that you know Yo Gabba Gabba so well that you recognize when DJ Lance says, “It’s almost time to go.” At those words, you throw yourself onto the floor, bury your head in your hands and yell, “Uh Oh!!!” I imagine if you could, you’d rise up, throw your fist in the air, and scream, “OH THE HUMANITY!” But sadly the words won’t come.

4. Everything is a telephone. You hold objects to your ear and say, “Wa Row?” which is you’re version of “hello?” Then you either chatter to yourself or continue with, “Wa row? Wa row? Uh oh!!” So. Flippin’ Cute.

5. You’re finally exploring in the yard! Until now, you wouldn’t venture away from the safety of the concrete into the unknown jungle of the grass. But one day, you just did it. You ran into the grass and then back and then out and then back. So now, you’re everywhere. Good luck to Momma and Dada in the airport this Christmas... (sigh) How much are those kid leashes?

All in all it’s been a wonderful month! I love you, B’Hat and am so glad to be your Momma!!

Kisses! (Because you can!),

Momma

16 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

I'm 34.

I know that's a weird way to start a letter to you because depending on how old you are when you read this determines how much it matters. In my mind you're on the computer after having tucked in your own dear ones, and you're about to write a letter to them detailing the events of the month. You've come here, curious about any comparisons between who you were at their age and who they are now, and you miss me. By then, technology will have advanced so much that the computer you're on won't be recognized by my generation as a computer. It will be foreign and vague and will be the sort of thing that causes much frustration to me and stifled giggles to you.

Anyway, I suppose the reason I mention my age is because I just had a birthday two days ago. So, you are 16 moths old and I'm 34. Time goosesteps on. I keep whispering in your ear, "That's big enough, ok. Stay my little one!" That said, I know it's good that you're growing up. I remind myself that this time is the best time and that will be true of each moment your whole life.

Here are some things that have happened this month:

1. You've begun to climb. It's not ok. You hike your leg up onto whatever piece of furniture - especially the rocking chair in your room - you're standing next to. If that piece of furniture has anything to grab onto, you can hoist yourself up.The reason this is difficult is that after you get on whatever you're climbing, you stand up. Sitting, apparently, is anathema to your morals so,by golly, YOU WILL STAND. And then cry because you can't get down.

2. You like football. You yell, "Go Tech!" or really, your version is "Yeah Yeah!!" You wave your fist in the air and cheer, "Yay!" You do this when you see a football field on the TV.

3. Your Maha (or Yaya or YaPaw or whatever the heck she's called. I call her Mom.) has taught you to hold bath toys in the air and yell, "Cannonball!" and then drop them. You learned very quickly and play "Cannonball!" with everything - the bath toys, other toys, food, my cell phone etc. Of course you don't really say, "cannonball", it sounds like "Lalalaaaaa!" But we all get what you're doing. Thanks for that game, Maha.. ;)4. You've begun to chatter. A lot. You chatter all the time and sometimes sing. It's the sweetest thing I've ever heard. It's particularly fun when your chatter sounds like cursing. Your dad and I look at each other and giggle, and then we renew our vows to stop cursing when it dawns on us that you might really be using words that we taught you. Shit!

5. New vocabulary word of the month: Teetee. You say this during diaper changes. To recap, you know Momma, Dada, Casey, rock, ball, and teetee. As Auntie Chrif-teen says, "You know who your parents are, the pet, a toy, and your penis. Yep. Pure boy." The other day, and this is an over share, you were patting my belly, as per the instructions of your father, and then patted lower and said, "teetee". Son, we have some things to talk about. Better yet, go ask your father.

6. I saw you jump in place on Friday. It's the first time I've seen you do that, and I think it scared you a little bit. This, especially with the knowledge that you are learning to climb, is so. freaking. scary to me. Please, may jumping scare you a little while longer, at least until I learn how to handle the climbing part. Please?
Jack, you are growing up to be such a sweet, wonderful, smart boy! I love you so much, baby. I'm glad to be your momma.

-Momma

15 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

Today I was talking to our school librarian, Mrs. Bean, about how adorable you are. I said, "Isn't Baby Jack so freakin' cute?" (I'm humble like that.)

She said, "He's adorable and not so much a baby anymore. He's Toddler Jack by now. How old is he? A year old?"

"What? No," I said, frantically trying to calculate whether or not you are a year old. "I mean he's almost 15 months old."

And that's the problem. In my head 15 month does not equate to one year old and counting. I still very much consider you my baby. I think this is a common problem for mothers, whether their sons are 15 months old or 33 years. But yes. You are 15 months old today and you are adorable and hilarious!

Here are some things that have happened this month:
1. You stand in bowls. I know. It's weird. But that's what you do. I pretend that you're doing performance art as you carefully lift your leg over the lip of the bowl, gently place it in, then carefully do the same with the other. You stand there, in the bowl, for two to five seconds and then very gently step out again. I clap. Because, seriously. What else is there to do?

2. You used to throw horrible crying fits when you didn't get your way. Now you just scruntch up your brow, lean your head back, open your mouth and slowly fuss, "a' hat, a'hat, a'haaaaaat." It's the most pitiful thing I've ever seen. And also hilarious. My laughter makes it worse. I try not to laugh, but COME ON!

3. I'm trying not to be offended by the fact that you point at Casey cat and say "Ca-sss" - your way of saying "Casey." Then you turn to me and hit me while you say "Momma!" and then you pat Dad and say, "Momma" and then you point at the couch and say "Momma" and then at the weird alien things on Yo Gabba Gabba and say "Momma." But Casey is always Ca-sss. Dad says we should ignore you, put our butts in your face, and walk across you to get to our food. That way you might learn who we are. I'll take the more patient approach of pointing at myself and saying "Momma" over and over again. (sigh)

4. You love bike rides!! A while back Dad got me a kid's bike seat for Mother's Day. We finally installed it on his bike, and now the family can go one bike rides! You wear your Sesame Street helmet (which you are not fond of, but I insist that it must be worn) and we ride to the park where we stop and play. Then it's back on the bike to head for home.

5. All of a sudden you hate the bath. Remember all of those bath pictures where you are all smiles and giggles and splashing and playing? Those days are gone. It was sudden. One day you decided that you hate the bath and you SCREAM. I can't even get you to sit in the water. Sometimes you get so worked up that you break out into hives. For the life of me, I don't know why the sudden change. Dad and I are doing everything we know how to do to keep you calm. We both go in the bathroom with you. We try distraction/entertainment/ music/ANYTHING. I've gotten in with you. I hug you through the baths sometimes. Still, nothing works. The best we can hope for is that we move quickly enough that you don't go into hysterics. :(

6. I wasn't going to mention this, but Aunt Chrif-teen says I HAVE to just so that you'll be embarrassed when you're a teenager. You do panty raids... on my underwear drawer. It's a good thing I'm not modest because you get into my panty drawer, pull as many pairs out as you can, and then strategically place them around the house - in other drawers (the silverware one, included), in the trash cans, in toy baskets, etc. You do not do this with Dad's underwear or socks. Just mine. Dad says you're gifted.

Overall, you are a healthy, happy baby! Er. healthy, happy toddler. It has been 15 months since you got here and I am still so proud to be your Momma. I love you Jack B'Hat!!

-Momma

13 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

Yesterday you were 13 months old! I didn't get this post out because, like buildings no longer have 13th floors for luck reasons (they skip from 12 to 14), I decided that your 13th month post should go up on the next day. ... Ok. Fine. You got me. I forgot what day it was. You'll find, as you get older, that Momma never knows what day it is in the summer. I get stuck in the "how many days has it been over 100!?" routine, and lose all other sense of time. So here I am at 1:00 AM writing your post. Who says I don't love you enough!?

Here's some stuff that happened this month:

* You are EVERYWHERE and you grab EVERYTHING. Plus, it turns out you are very tall compared to other babies your age which means that their parents didn't have to move everything off of the tables and counters until much later. I didn't think the house could be much more baby-proofed, but it turns out I was sorely mistaken.

* You are starting to run. (!) BUT you are still wobbly and take balance checks..very fast ones. It looks like you are in some sort of digital feed that pauses every couple of steps to stream. You don't fall as often, but you freak Momma out a lot.

* We survived an entire week by ourselves. Daddy left to go to training and we held down the fort. I was afraid to do this. Usually there is someone within calling distance, but not this time. All of my contacts were out of town, and so it was just you and me and the poison control number on the fridge. Overall, we did great and only had a few mishaps, none of which I will share here, and some of which I'm counting on your lack of long term memory to erase before you get to your therapy years. We did have lots of fun adventures!!

* The TV went out. That's not really about you, but it sort of is seeing as you were the one who liked to push every button on the console. The new TV has no buttons on the front. Coincidence? Hmmm.

* You can now put shapes into the right hole. That sounds weird. What I mean is you put the right shape (hexagon, flower, heart, etc.) into the right cut out for that shape on your toys. I am very proud!!

* Your new word for the month is "oops," though it comes out, "umph! umph!" It's in a book we read about a turkey who doesn't know how to put his clothes on. You carry the book over to me and repeat,"umph! umph UMPH!" until I read it to you. So, your vocabulary consists of the following:

umph=oops
momma=momma
dada=everything that is not momma
uh-oh= what to say just before you throw things.

Sometimes I think you're saying "Jack" when you point at yourself and say "ak," but maybe not. Also you point at the cat and make a t sound.

* You smile at everyone. This sounds like you are friendly, but I know that people are a little bit confused by the smile. It isn't a friendly one. What I mean is, from nowhere, you flash this "cheeeeese!" expression at passersby. As quickly as it comes, it goes. This leaves people confused. They continue past us thinking, "Did that baby just smile at me or did I imagine it?" or "I think he's mocking me.." or "Gremlin!"

* You've been called a she three times this week. It's time to cut your hair. Your dad is so disappointed..

I'm certain I'm leaving a ton of things out - like, for exaple, your love affair with static guard-, but for the love of God, it's now 1:30 in the morning! Despite what the date on this post may suggest, I LOVE you very much, Jack. You are a constant tap of love for me, and joy, and wonder, and all things gorgeous!!! Happy 13th..er early 14th month, Baby!!

Momma

12 Months

Deat Jack B'Hat,

Today you are one. Around this time one year ago, we were both adjusting to a new world: You were learning how to breathe and eat and exist here, and I was only acutely aware of the miracle that had just taken place. I had only a glimpse of the responsibility being your momma entailed. Actually, I feel like I still only have a small idea. Maybe God works with new Mommas that way - allowing them to understand, in tiny portions, the immense responsibility that is raising children . Otherwise I have a feeling that the human race might end a lot sooner than anyone intended.

But here we are, one year later. You are happy and healthy and wonderful! Here are some of the things that happened this month:

* Shoes are a problem. You've been a hippie baby for 11 months and because your Uncle Putz and Aunt Shugs are getting married, your Yaya (new name for PawPaw) decreed that you must wear shoes at the airport (at least) and probably at the wedding with the sailor suit she got for you. I think she really wanted you to wear those white baby shoes that have been around for ages. I voted for sandals. In the end, you have some navy Cons - a compromise, I think. Even if they don't match exactly, I think they have a big enough coolness factor that it doesn't matter. I did get you some airport sandals, but you HATE them. You would rather crawl. And that's how you foiled our plans to keep you germ free at the airport..

* You would rather study things than play with them. Paranoid Momma is constantly worried about autism - What are the signs? Does wanting to study toys rather than play with them mean that something is wrong? Everything is amazing to you. I suppose I should worry more if it wasn't. But I can already see you playing with Rubiks Cubes and tinkering with broken AV equipment. I love that you're curious!

* "Uh-Oh". Daddy thinks this is your first word. I still think it's "Momma." Anyway, as is typical of babies, you say "uh-oh" a lot. You mostly say it right before you throw something on the floor. Daddy keeps telling you that when you throw something on the floor on purpose you're supposed to say "Damn it!" But I appreciate the warning. Sometimes I can even catch what you're throwing. "Uh-oh" also lets me know when you are finished eating, seeing as you say it right before you start throwing the food you don't want to eat.

* Your hair is nuts. Seriously, kid. Where did you get such nuts hair? It sticks out everywhere, in all directions. It's like whack-a-mole. If I smooth down one cowlick, another one pops up on the other side of your head. I honestly don't get it. Is your DNA coded with a cowlick chromosomes? Dude! People (read 'strangers') love to point out your crazy hair. Mostly we hear comments like, "Look at his hair!" and "His hair is sticking up! That's hilar... er, cute."

* You took your first airplane ride. I don't really want to preserve that memory other than to say that it didn't go well. Everything was OK until we got into the air. Maybe you were feeding off of my anxiety. Maybe you were tired or bored. Still, the folks around us wished they had brought earplugs. I know we aren't ever supposed to drug babies, but we bought some Baby Benadryl yesterday. Even if we don't use it, keeping the medicine close makes us able to endure the idea of the plane ride home. Maybe we'll just pass it around to the other passengers or slip it into the flight attendant's beverage cart. Then they can sleep while you scream.. (sigh)

* You have four teeth. All of them are on the bottom. You are the cutest piranha I've ever seen.

* You've learned to communicate when you are hungry. You point to yourself and say "Ack" which I think is "Jack", and then you give the sign for milk. You think the milk sign means "eat". But I get what you're saying, which is the point.

* You smile at everyone which means you melt a lot of hearts everywhere you go. Yesterday you made friends with two airline pilots at the airport. They even let you wear their hats!

There is so much more that I'm forgetting. We're still in Georgia at the moment, and I'm a bit distracted my the goings on. But you are so much a part of this family. Going on a trip together solidifies it. I think it's because your Daddy and I love to travel and this is the first trip - hotel room, airplane ride, etc. - that we've taken together. You better get used to it, kid..

I love you more than oxygen, Baby Boy!

Happy Birthday!!!
Love,
Momma

11 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

You are 11 months old today! Unfortunately your going to get a shorter letter today because Momma's under the weather and is crazy tired. I'll keep it brief. Here's the stuff that happened this month:

1. You are almost walking completely by yourself. When you feel especially daring, you walk across the living room from the footstool to the couch! Several times you fall over and bonk which makes you stick out your bottom lip so far that I think "No wonder you tripped! With a lip stickin' out that far,who wouldn't?" You do not find this quip amusing in any way, form, or fashion and you proceed to wail uncontrollably until you are distracted by something shiny or a piece of cheese.

2. You no longer want your baby oatmeal. You're a toddler now, and toddlers don't eat food with the word 'baby' in front of it. You spat at the spoon if oatmeal is on it, and only want finger foods and sometimes squash. You used to eat everything, and now you only want Cheerios, veggie sticks, and berry melts. Daddy keeps telling me not to worry, that you're getting your nutrients through the formula, but telling me not to worry is like telling a flower not to wilt. It just happens.

3. All of your teeth are surfacing at once. At least it feels that way. You are getting four more right this very second. That might also be why you are picky about what you eat.

4. You've learned how to open cabinets. We installed safety locks on the doors that shut out the poisons, but the Christmas dishes are still fair game to you. There is a lot of us running to you when we hear a door open, and you crying because you're not allowed to open the door and you think we are the meanest, suckiest parents ever.

5. You ate cat food yesterday.. on Mother's Day. What a wonderful mother I am to allow you to wander off unchaperoned. When I noticed it was way too quiet, I found you shoving cat food pellets into your mouth. I dug them out and carried you to Daddy. I figured it wasn't my finest mothering moment and so it was his turn. I was glad I had a cold so that I couldn't smell the cat food on you. Casey is very tolerant.

That's about all I'm good for, today, Jack. You are growing SO fast!! You are the light of my life and I love you so much it aches! Happy 11th month, baby boy!

Love,

Momma

10 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

You are 10 months old today!! Double Digits! Hooray! As PawPaw says, you are hardly even a baby anymore. For some reason, nostalgia makes me believe that I miss you as a snugly sweet infant, but if I remember hard enough, I recall how hard all of that was. I think you are so much fun right now! Even though you are into EVERYTHING and I can't keep you out of ANYTHING, it is so cool to see you play and explore and learn!

Here are some things about you this month:

1. You are about to walk, and if someone said, "You can't play with your toys unless you walk across the living room," I think you could do it. For now, because your Momma and Dada still cater to your every need, you'd rather be carried. I can't blame you. I think we all spend the rest of our lives hoping to be carried again. You cruise around the living room and sometimes forget that you even need to hang on to something. After you realize you've let go of the furniture you're using to stand, you cautiously turn around and lower yourself to the floor. "Whew," I imagine you're thinking, "they almost saw me walk."

2. You aren't particularly interested in TV (despite my pleading), but when Little Bill comes on, you perk up and crawl as fast as you can to the TV and stand up and pat at the image of Bill Cosby as he hands his hat to Little Bill. You love that jazzy intro (which makes your Momma proud) and it keeps you occupied for a minute or two. I like Little Bill more than you do, but I'm hoping you'll grow into the show soon.

3. You are very interested in unpacking. It doesn't matter what it is: diapers out of the box, toys out of your toy basket, clean, freshly folded laundry that you'd like to throw across the room, everything stacked neatly on your Dada's nightstand that you would rather see in a disheveled circle around you, etc. I wish you liked to put things away just as much, but I'm pretty sure that it takes some OCD to be the person who is excited about putting things back in place. It turns out Moms across the country have been fighting this battle for centuries and you are exceedingly normal in this respect.

4. You got a new car seat. You did not like it at first. Now I do not. It turns out that to put you in I basically have to maneuver through what seems like a maze of lasers without tripping an alarm (like Katherine Zeta Jones in Entrapment, only no cat suit and significantly smaller boobs). It's hard to get you in. But you like it once you are strapped down.

5. You want to eat what we're eating, and I'm becoming a little bit more brave about letting you try things. I have to admit that I take a little bit of joy from watching your face as you put things in your mouth for the first time - it's usually a confused, "What the hell is this" expression followed by a sound you make, like you're sucking air through a straw. It's the equivalent of saying, "I don't know about this.." BUT you've only spit out two things, both of which I did not give to you - a lemon (that you confiscated off of the counter when I was drying you off after a bath) and some bark from the firewood.

6. You like to "fix" things. By fix, I mean you take two objects and tap them together, like you are tinkering with a project in the garage. It's all very serious as seen in your expression. No one should laugh or make light of it, I found out.

7. As far as your health is concerned, you've done OK this month overall, but you have a never ending cold! I suppose this is normal for little ones, especially teethers, but there is a lot of wiping and sniffing and smearing of snot. Ick.

As always, I am so, so glad to be your Momma. Everyone says what a happy, good baby you are. Soon they will have to say that you are a happy, good boy! I love you, Hut da Dut!!

Momma