Sleep. It's a problem. Jack, according to the experts, should be taking a morning nap, an afternoon one, and sometimes an evening one. I agree. I know what it's like for Jack to miss a nap - something akin to a fierce, roaring F5 tornado teamed up with Alien v. Predator, their mission to destroy the planet, one Momma at a time. Not. Fun. And when he finally does fall asleep after having missed a daily nap, it's like coming out of an underground shelter after a nuclear holocaust. We move very slowly, cautiously, devastated by the destruction, yet happy to have survived for now.
You may think I'm exaggerating. Some of you know I'm not.
Nap time is never pleasant. I don't really know why, but obviously it is a common problem seeing as people have written many books on the subject, mothers pass down advice about getting a baby to sleep using tricks that midwives have employed, and spells that witches have cast, since the 'infancy' of mankind. ALL parents struggle with this issue. I suppose I ought to be happy that Jack is normal in this respect.
In the past, we put baby Jack on a pallet in the living room for his daily naps, and Rich and I, after having to convince him that he wants a nap, tip-toe around the house, trying not to make any sort of noise - sneezing, whispering, breathing, blinking - that might wake the baby.
Now that he is older, Jack is able to roll off of the pallet, scoot to a toy*, and successfully avoid closing his eyes for two more minutes. That is until super mean, ugly Momma or "I hate you and your ass face" Dad comes over to put him back on his pallet for another round of "Let's torture our baby and ourselves by making him take a nap! Hooray!". Followed by either a game of "Whew, that was close" or "How to survive an F5."
For these reasons, I've decided that I will have to put Jack in his bed for naps. This is a good idea for a couple of reasons: 1. I don't have to tip toe, which actually hurts your calves after a while, and I get to breathe and blink normally. 2. If he is fussy, I can close the door and walk away, where the screaming is at least muted a little.
Reason #2 is the tricky one. I realize that I should be OK with letting Jack cry himself to sleep. But I hate it. It hurts my heart. I've never let him cry himself to sleep. I always either rock him to sleep or sing to him. On particularly difficult occassions, I would give up and let him play, convincing myself that he had at least rested.. so he shouldn't be too fussy later, right? (Stop laughing at me, all you experienced moms!)
But now's the time he needs to learn how to soothe himself. That involves letting him cry it out, way far away - all alone - in the other room.
(sigh)
But I tried it for the first time, today.
This is the reason I can write this post in one sitting. And enjoy a cup of warm coffee. And begin preparing the stew I want to make for tonight's dinner. All things I haven't been able to do by myself in almost 8 months. I put Jack in his bed, turned off the monitor, and listened to him wail in the distance for a while. But now it is silent in the house.
I could get used to this..
* usually it's the phone. He's learned to dial. Hey, Bangladesh: Heads up! Baby Jack has been trying to get a hold of you for weeks.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I remember how hard it was to hear the crying. Minutes seemed like hours, and it was all I could do not to go in an pick Bobby or Duncan up.
Trust me, in the long run it will be better for both of you. It will eventually take Jack less time to get to sleep and without as much crying. You will be happier also, getting the time to yourself to be able to do things you couldn't with Jack in tow.
Miss all of you, and hope to see you soon.
I have a little one that does not like to sleep either. At nap time in she goes door closed and fan on in the bathroom. Cries for a short time and then it is over. I also like to rock Alyce to sleep but sometimes I have to let her cry. It is still hard and she is a year and a half. Oh well I think she may get the hang of it.
I'll tell you what... with Coley I was the Nap Time Nazi. She's always had a fan for white noise and I let her cry it out. I had a heart of STONE. And she has ALWAYS been a good sleeper ever since infancy and the training we did.
With Jalyn it was much harder. Perhaps because I knew how quickly the baby phase would be gone. But for whatever reason, she was MY BAAAY-BEE! And I couldn't let her cry as much. But thank goodness I eventually got over that and trained her just as well as I did Coley.
I promise you, it's for the best. What you want to give Jack -- the ability to self-soothe, to fall asleep on his own, without your assistance -- is invaluable to learn. I watched my sister have to lie down with my niece for YEARS -- and she hated it. (Gena, not Abbie.) Believe me, it's much harder to sleep train later in life.
Jack needs that ability to fall asleep on his own, and YOU, my dear, need to take back your house, take back your afternoons. You need sanity and a break as much as HE does. I'm proud of you. Stick to it. Remember, it feels like forever when you are listening to him scream. But it's probably only a few minutes.
I'm saying that as a mom with a 3 and 5 year old who still nap. It usually takes me all of a couple of minutes to put them down. They don't argue, they don't push it off -- they aren't perfect kids but they sure know it's a losing battle. Maybe I'm still the Nap Time Nazi!
Love!
Post a Comment