16 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

I'm 34.

I know that's a weird way to start a letter to you because depending on how old you are when you read this determines how much it matters. In my mind you're on the computer after having tucked in your own dear ones, and you're about to write a letter to them detailing the events of the month. You've come here, curious about any comparisons between who you were at their age and who they are now, and you miss me. By then, technology will have advanced so much that the computer you're on won't be recognized by my generation as a computer. It will be foreign and vague and will be the sort of thing that causes much frustration to me and stifled giggles to you.

Anyway, I suppose the reason I mention my age is because I just had a birthday two days ago. So, you are 16 moths old and I'm 34. Time goosesteps on. I keep whispering in your ear, "That's big enough, ok. Stay my little one!" That said, I know it's good that you're growing up. I remind myself that this time is the best time and that will be true of each moment your whole life.

Here are some things that have happened this month:

1. You've begun to climb. It's not ok. You hike your leg up onto whatever piece of furniture - especially the rocking chair in your room - you're standing next to. If that piece of furniture has anything to grab onto, you can hoist yourself up.The reason this is difficult is that after you get on whatever you're climbing, you stand up. Sitting, apparently, is anathema to your morals so,by golly, YOU WILL STAND. And then cry because you can't get down.

2. You like football. You yell, "Go Tech!" or really, your version is "Yeah Yeah!!" You wave your fist in the air and cheer, "Yay!" You do this when you see a football field on the TV.

3. Your Maha (or Yaya or YaPaw or whatever the heck she's called. I call her Mom.) has taught you to hold bath toys in the air and yell, "Cannonball!" and then drop them. You learned very quickly and play "Cannonball!" with everything - the bath toys, other toys, food, my cell phone etc. Of course you don't really say, "cannonball", it sounds like "Lalalaaaaa!" But we all get what you're doing. Thanks for that game, Maha.. ;)4. You've begun to chatter. A lot. You chatter all the time and sometimes sing. It's the sweetest thing I've ever heard. It's particularly fun when your chatter sounds like cursing. Your dad and I look at each other and giggle, and then we renew our vows to stop cursing when it dawns on us that you might really be using words that we taught you. Shit!

5. New vocabulary word of the month: Teetee. You say this during diaper changes. To recap, you know Momma, Dada, Casey, rock, ball, and teetee. As Auntie Chrif-teen says, "You know who your parents are, the pet, a toy, and your penis. Yep. Pure boy." The other day, and this is an over share, you were patting my belly, as per the instructions of your father, and then patted lower and said, "teetee". Son, we have some things to talk about. Better yet, go ask your father.

6. I saw you jump in place on Friday. It's the first time I've seen you do that, and I think it scared you a little bit. This, especially with the knowledge that you are learning to climb, is so. freaking. scary to me. Please, may jumping scare you a little while longer, at least until I learn how to handle the climbing part. Please?
Jack, you are growing up to be such a sweet, wonderful, smart boy! I love you so much, baby. I'm glad to be your momma.

-Momma

All this and more..

on the Flickr.

15 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

Today I was talking to our school librarian, Mrs. Bean, about how adorable you are. I said, "Isn't Baby Jack so freakin' cute?" (I'm humble like that.)

She said, "He's adorable and not so much a baby anymore. He's Toddler Jack by now. How old is he? A year old?"

"What? No," I said, frantically trying to calculate whether or not you are a year old. "I mean he's almost 15 months old."

And that's the problem. In my head 15 month does not equate to one year old and counting. I still very much consider you my baby. I think this is a common problem for mothers, whether their sons are 15 months old or 33 years. But yes. You are 15 months old today and you are adorable and hilarious!

Here are some things that have happened this month:
1. You stand in bowls. I know. It's weird. But that's what you do. I pretend that you're doing performance art as you carefully lift your leg over the lip of the bowl, gently place it in, then carefully do the same with the other. You stand there, in the bowl, for two to five seconds and then very gently step out again. I clap. Because, seriously. What else is there to do?

2. You used to throw horrible crying fits when you didn't get your way. Now you just scruntch up your brow, lean your head back, open your mouth and slowly fuss, "a' hat, a'hat, a'haaaaaat." It's the most pitiful thing I've ever seen. And also hilarious. My laughter makes it worse. I try not to laugh, but COME ON!

3. I'm trying not to be offended by the fact that you point at Casey cat and say "Ca-sss" - your way of saying "Casey." Then you turn to me and hit me while you say "Momma!" and then you pat Dad and say, "Momma" and then you point at the couch and say "Momma" and then at the weird alien things on Yo Gabba Gabba and say "Momma." But Casey is always Ca-sss. Dad says we should ignore you, put our butts in your face, and walk across you to get to our food. That way you might learn who we are. I'll take the more patient approach of pointing at myself and saying "Momma" over and over again. (sigh)

4. You love bike rides!! A while back Dad got me a kid's bike seat for Mother's Day. We finally installed it on his bike, and now the family can go one bike rides! You wear your Sesame Street helmet (which you are not fond of, but I insist that it must be worn) and we ride to the park where we stop and play. Then it's back on the bike to head for home.

5. All of a sudden you hate the bath. Remember all of those bath pictures where you are all smiles and giggles and splashing and playing? Those days are gone. It was sudden. One day you decided that you hate the bath and you SCREAM. I can't even get you to sit in the water. Sometimes you get so worked up that you break out into hives. For the life of me, I don't know why the sudden change. Dad and I are doing everything we know how to do to keep you calm. We both go in the bathroom with you. We try distraction/entertainment/ music/ANYTHING. I've gotten in with you. I hug you through the baths sometimes. Still, nothing works. The best we can hope for is that we move quickly enough that you don't go into hysterics. :(

6. I wasn't going to mention this, but Aunt Chrif-teen says I HAVE to just so that you'll be embarrassed when you're a teenager. You do panty raids... on my underwear drawer. It's a good thing I'm not modest because you get into my panty drawer, pull as many pairs out as you can, and then strategically place them around the house - in other drawers (the silverware one, included), in the trash cans, in toy baskets, etc. You do not do this with Dad's underwear or socks. Just mine. Dad says you're gifted.

Overall, you are a healthy, happy baby! Er. healthy, happy toddler. It has been 15 months since you got here and I am still so proud to be your Momma. I love you Jack B'Hat!!

-Momma

Testing Limits

This has been happening far too often lately:

Step 1: Check to see that Momma is watching.


Step 2: Wind up a very theatrical/pitiful fit.

Step3: Continue throwing the fit whilst going about your business.

Step 4: Get over the fit when you realize no one is paying attention OR when the cat distracts you for a second.

Step 5: Resume the fit at a later time.

14 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

You are 14 months old today!! You've learned and done so much this month, some that I've already mentioned in previous posts that I'll reiterate, and some that I haven't mentioned.

I'll start with the heavy:

* First of all, and I hesitate to write this because it's sort of a downer, but important nonetheless, you had a terrible allergic reaction to peanut butter, we think. Dad and I were running errands - getting the car fixed, waiting for the car to be fixed, picking up the fixed car - and we took you to the mall in between so that we wouldn't have to drive all the way home and back. We shared ice cream and watched the ice skaters. You ran around the viewing area and made friends. We had time to play at the children's area before we left, where you ran up to a huge plastic cat and said, "Casey!" We thought we were genius parents, managing playtime and chores. You were having so much fun! All was well until the drive home. You got sick - really sick - in the car. I drove home as fast as I could, you screaming in your car seat the whole way. I managed to get you to the bathtub to get the sick off of you, and that's when I noticed the huge welts on your back and more forming on your stomach.

I've never been so afraid.

To make a long story short, we got you to an urgent care clinic where they were able to stop the reaction with an epinephrine shot. In an hour you were fine and wanted to play, like nothing had happened. We think some peanut butter in the ice cream was the culprit. I guess we'll find out another time.

And now for the light stuff:

* You love to pull pillows off of the couch and into the floor, and then dive on to them.Every time I'm worried that you'll miss, but so far the only time you've hurt yourself is when you launched yourself into the arm of the couch, probably because it looks nice and plush. It turns out it's a pretty solid surface.. But other than that, you giggle and squeal as you land on the pillows!

* You don't know what to do with cold stuff. Last month I mentioned your first push up pop. Last night you had your first Popsicle. The picture says all you need to know.

* You love your new swing! Unfortunately August is SO HOT, which is why we can only swing for 2 minutes and then we have to come inside for lemonade. But you think it's way fun. You try and tuck your legs into the swing (forming a little ball) so it doesn't tickle your tummy as much. You're adorable.

* You had your first haircut, as I've mentioned. It was no problem. You are such a friendly kid that mostly you make others feel at ease. There's something divine about that..

* You've started to spontaneously lie down in the floor - in the hallway, in the kitchen, outside.. Location doesn't matter. I don't think it's an indication of nap time or anything. I think you just like to lie down for a sec. Maybe you're re-energizing? Because seriously, kid, you're busy ALL OF THE TIME.

Summer is almost over, Jack. That means next week, you'll be back at Nanny's. I'm relieved about that because I think you have so much fun there with your friends. Here it's just been the three of us, and we already get the impression that you think we are, "like so totally lame (eye roll)". I love you, baby boy!!!

Love,

Momma

Haircut

Jack had his first haircut today! Our friend, Cat, who also has a one year old son named Jack (and who has cut her kids' hair a million times), was excited to be Jack's first stylist. She even reminded a bewildered Momma that I... ahem.. she should take a lock of his hair. I'd say the experience was a complete success. No one cried. Not one of us! See for yourselves:

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Bad Momma

I can't help it. I laugh which, I'm sure, encourages every bit of rotten behavior that he can think to do, all at once. When I laugh, not only does he smear more food into his hair like it's mousse, he's also thinking that he should bite the next kid he meets on the street, take a toy from someone smaller, and clock the cat upside the head. But look at him. First notice, apart from the defiant facial expression, the hamburger in his hair:

The other bits of food he didn't want are behind his head in his collar. He drops food behind him, I assume, to get it out of his sight. Bad Baby! And then there's his dad's response:I have no chance. Then I get, along with the angelic "Momma, I'm so hungry" stare, the sign for more:
Shit.