Thank God for all of you stay at home moms/dads. How do you do it? Seriously? How? I have stayed at home by myself with Jack for three whole days now and I am one dirty diaper away from braving the garage, dragging out the ladder, climbing to the highest peak of my roof, and jumping. Sure, I would probably only end up injuring my limbs - possibly a fracture (I live in a one story house and, if I jumped from the highest peak, I would end up rolling down the rest of the roof before tumbling off.. BUT, you get what I mean).
Honestly, this has little to do with the baby. He is an awesome kid..if he's had a decent night's sleep. And I love him even if he doesn't have one.. like last night, for example. No sleep. Well, OK. Little sleep. I think 3-3:30 was when he slept. We're working with minimal sleep today and he is only napping for 30 minutes at a time - just enough time for me to get cozy, shut my eyes, and then jump when he starts sputtering himself awake. He fights sleep!
But I digress.
Staying at home leaves me pretty much trapped. I think this has a lot to do with the fact that when I'm at home, I feel like I need to do chores. The work is NEVER done, unlike my actual job. I mean there is always more to do there too, but I can grade a stack of papers and feel some sort of accomplishment. Here, I think things like, "OK I've done the dishes, but I need to clean out the cabinet before I put them up, and I need to wash the towels before I dry the dishes, but the laundry priority should be whites since I am down to my bikini briefs which don't fit like they used to which means I should exercise, but I can't because Jack has no time for aerobics and I can't ride my bike because then who would watch Jack? I guess I could go for a walk instead, but it's one hundred and fifty thousand degrees outside -NOT KIDDING - so I guess I am trapped."
And then I eat brownies. And wash them down with Miller Chills.
I have yet to establish any kind of routine like experienced moms who know exactly when nap time is and then are able to pull out ten toilet paper rolls, markers, and glitter for neighborhood kaleidoscope craft time. And they smile the whole time and then bake pineapple up-side-down cakes and shit. Those moms baffle me.
So, how do you super moms do it? Did I miss the super power inducing comet or refuse the super hero kool-aid cup in favor of a margarita or two?
Lithium?
What?
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3 comments:
I think it's important to remember it doesn't have to be an either/or proposition. Jack has two parents and probably caregivers also--who, in his developmental image, play the part of the vestigial aunt or grandmother, so tell them to love him rather than assume some professional persona. We live in a society that errs in cursing people to the black and white when we both know life happens in the gray.
The best advice I've gotten from a seasoned mom is to prioritize my happiness and let a sort of trickle down effect take over. It works. Better yet, whatever works for you, works for Jack. Martyrs make for odd moms.
Go for a bike ride and then down your Miller. Jack will reap the benefits of both!
And the rhythm thing works, too. The baby rhythm is chaotic. It reminds me of the India religious tradition of the macrocosm (chaos) giving birth to the microcosm. Life emerges somehow. Order appears out of disorder after you submit yourself to the macrocosm of disorder. Stop trying to do the dishes and hold your baby and smile while you watch or read your favorite whatever. Imagine drums that might have beat you both sublime a million years ago, sitting in a circle of your only known life companions, just outside your adobe apartment.
Then, you'd hand Jack to your trusted friend (too young or old to have kids herself) and go hunt and gather. You are, after all, that productive age.
1. Knowing it's only for a season. This stage doesn't last forever. But for right now, I get to help meet the needs of my child.
2. SUPPORT! Mom's group or close friends who you can be honest with, or, if your child is screaming and you have thoughts of roof diving, people whom you can hand your kid over to just to have a moment alone.
3. Knowing perfection doesn't exist, you find what works best for you and your family...period.
4. Realizing (and this took me some time) the cleanliness of my house will never compare to time I spend talking to my kid and helping her explore the world. I do my best, but some things just have to change because life has changed...drastically.
You are doing a great job, give yourself some credit every now and then girl.
G - - THIS IS HOW I DO IT:
ZOLOFT.
I am laughing out loud at this post!! Oh my gosh it is so funny and it has made me feel so much better as a stay at home mom to know I am not the only one who struggles!! Try having 2 kids in that mix. Oh my gosh....bring on more ZOLOFT. And a glass of red wine. (do those two things at the same time and then you really have some fun)
I went and got a massage tonight and when I came home Ron said "you are a freaking SAINT!! How do you do this all day long?! I am exhausted after 1 hour with these two kooks!!"
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