3 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

You are finally three months old! And I know. It is weird for me to say "finally" instead of "already." Somehow in my mind three months is a pretty significant milestone - as in "if we can make it to three months, everything will be OK," which was the mantra we repeated everyday. No one told me that the measure marker for "OK" would move at each milestone. But hey, we made it to three months and things are more than OK. They're good..

For example, I've gotten better at singing to you, or really my song choice is a little better. We have a silly, made-up morning song called "Good Morning Baby Jack" (clever title) that we sing when we wake-up, and it makes you smile and coo at me. And may I just say, that those smiles are maternal crack to me. I'm addicted. And when I'm away from them I get the shakes. But, I'm constantly singing, that is until you give me "the look" - the one that says, "Woman! Shut your pie hole. I'll show you singing!!" Or sometimes you give me the one that says, "Holy Mother of God! What the hell is that?!" And then I know to stop, though I have to admit I sometimes feel stung at the second look.

This morning, after a hearty rendition of "Good Morning Baby Jack", I sang "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" to you in, for lack of a better description, a drunken Elvis voice.. and you LOVED it. You even tried to sing back. Daddy was in the shower so a.) he didn't have the privilege of listening to it and b.)when the neighbors come knocking to tell us to tone it down, he won't know to be utterly horrified. So, win win win! I get to be an idiot, you get to laugh, and Daddy gets to be clueless! All of us are comfortable! Hooray!

Also, I packed up your neworn clothes today. It was a proud moment and sad at the same time. As a compromise to my spirit, I decided to keep a couple of keepsakes out: the t-shirt you got at the hospital that reads "I Got My First Hug at Arlington Memorial" and your floppy puppy onesie.

In other news, last night you scared the living daylights out of me. You did something you NEVER do. You slept through the night - for nine hours straight. And it terrified me. I was up every hour to make sure you were OK, and I even made Daddy get up and check once. But you were, of course, peaceful and adorable. This is such a change from the days when we were up with you every two hours. We used to slowly tip-toe by your door at night trying not to stir up any floating molecules for fear that the sound of those tiny collisions might wake you, and then we would be up with you for the rest of the night... year... milleneum! Maybe those nights are over (?) (knocking on wood). Whatever. I'll never be able to fully sleep again now that you are in my world. And that shows how much I love you! So, so much!

As I rocked you to sleep tonight, you looked me straight in the eyes and gave me a warm, sleepy smile. I gave one back to you, and also a silly little tear.

Happy 3rd month, Baby Bat D'Hat.
Love,
Momma

P.S. You finally noticed Casey!!! He came up to you and you clasped your hands together under your chin and with a great big grin said,"Ohhh!" Casey ran away like Scooby Doo from the Swamp Thing. But there was contact! Baby steps..