It's hard enough to take arm pictures with two, much less three and a sun

Meeting Gramps

One of the coolest things that happened this Christmas is that Jack met his great grandfather:

I think Jack fell in love:

He looks just a little TOO relaxed

Do you think he's faking being sick just so that he can sleep in the big bed next to Momma?

More sickness! So soon?!

Sick again, sick again. Baby Jack is sick again. This time he has a major cold. Poor Baby has enough mucous to fill up an entire nation which means he can't breathe through his nose because it's stuffy, he can't breathe through his mouth because it makes him cough; he can't eat for the two above reasons, and he can't sleep.

We're doing everything we can think of: Elevating his head, saline nasal drops, Vicks Baby on the chest, back, and neck (and even on the feet because I heard that helps), humidifier (which nearly burned the house down), distraction, etc.

If Jack actually gets to sleep, he wakes up every couple of hours from not being able to sleep. When he's awake, he is constantly crying or moaning. Poor kid.

I'm trying not to be angry about the fact that he just got over the stomach bug and now he's hit again. I'm trying not to think about how long this will last. I am trying to pretend that Rich and I are immune to it all and we won't be the next victims. I'm trying not to think about the fact that this is Christmas break and at least we have that so we're not missing more school, but that it is supposed to be a "break," NOT like the Thanksgiving one when we had to tend to the stomach bug.

I think I'll go try and lay down some more. Jack is tucked in with Rich right now. Rich has his arm under Jack's head to keep the mucous flowing south. If I didn't know how uncomfortable and tired they both are, I would think it was a really sweet scene.

I am grateful for Rich who has a higher lack of sleep tolerance than me. And for the fact that none of us has to do this alone.

Please get well, Baby Jack. Please. Soon.

In the Christmas Spirit

How Momma single handedly put an end to all Christmas carols

Sweet, angelic Baby Jack sings, "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. My two front teeth.."

Cranky Momma growls, "You freaking got 'em, kid. Believe me. If you haven't noticed them by now, then you've been sleeping your life away. Oh wait. NO you haven't. And it's because of your two front teeth! Quit wishing for them!

"Thanks, Santa. Thanks a freaking lot."

6 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

Oh. My Gosh. We made it to 6 months. This is HUGE. Not only does it mean that your dad and I have kept you alive that long (and believe me, our track record with plants and cats isn't great), but you are happy and thriving and wonderful. Also, it is a really big deal that your dad and I are still alive and (somewhat) sane. We weren't sure on some days.

It is December (a really nice relief temperature-wise) which means that we get to come home everyday from work and have a Christmas tree lighting ceremony. You and I stand in front of the tree and have a drum roll and count down; "Five..four...three.. two..one........" and then the tree "magically" comes to life and we squeal and clap and then sing, "Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas treeeee, Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree." You're too little to sing all of the real lyrics so we just repeat the same line.. because I'm silly. But we have a great time.

And then we go to Mommy's big bed and play Zombie Baby Attack until you and I both are squealing. Zombie Baby Attack is a game where you lunge toward me with your mouth open as wide as it goes, you raise your eyebrows, and then attach yourself to my face like a big slobbery suction cup. I fall backwards flail around and groan, yelling, "Noo! Not the zombie baby. You got me!! You got me!!! arghrrhggg!!" And you laugh so hard and let go. Then we sit up and hug each other until you lunge again, this time attaching to my other cheek or my chin or even my forehead. You're crafty. But it's fun, and we love each other so much.

You and your daddy are hilarious. I often quip that I'm glad that I made a pal for your dad. He loves to hang out with you, and I don't even exist when you guys are together. But that's good. And I'm so glad that you are friends. He really has taken such good care of you, especially since you've been sick. He wants to hang out with you all of the time, but we both have to work right now. But maybe someday.

Here are some things that have happened for you this month:

* You can sit up

* You went on your first major road trip

* You tried your first baby food (squash - you LOVE it)

* You had your first stomach virus (scared me to death) and it took you 2 1/2 weeks to get over it

* You got your first tooth (bottom right) and more are coming

*You decorated your first Christmas tree and I made my first Jack ornament the way that Momo made them for me.

I love you. I'm so glad I'm your momma. You need to know that I will always love you, no matter what. I'm especially sappy because this week has been tough at work, and there are things that have happened that make me need to hold you close. You are my baby - you will always be, and I want what's best for you no matter what. I love you, Jack.

Momma

Tree trimming and such

We took an hour to trim the tree so that Jack could have a Christmas tree for his very first Christmas. Actually, so that Jack's Momma could have a tree for Jack's very first Christmas. Here he is with Christmas Kermit:

And with a snowman that is the same size as he is:

And with both:

Friends!

New horizon

We called Nanny Delaney and tried to paint both an honest picture of Jack's condition (not well, yet) and a positive one. I think it came across as, "Please. Please. Please let Jack go to your house today. Please. Neither of us can afford to miss work today. Remember how cute Jack is? We'll pay double. Oh wait. We are, since we are paying for the days he's missing.. But please."

And she said, "OK."

And we were all like, "Really? Because we don't want to get the other babies sick.." I'm not sure how loudly we said it. But we said it.

So Jack went to Nanny's today for the first time in two weeks. And even though he did have dirty, dirty diapers, and even though he was "a challenge" since the last two weeks involved Jack having our FULL attention which meant he screamed everytime Nanny put him down to tend to the other kids, he made it through the day!

What a relief. Nanny said she'd take him again tomorrow. So back to work for two days in a row, we go. Whew.

We still need to get Jack well. Speaking of which, thank you for all of the emails, comments, calls, and suggestions. They are all very helpful and supportive. You are an awesome community!! You keep me sane, even if it's just to say, "Damn, this sucks." I'm going to try a combination of things to help Jack feel better or at least be more comfortable. Also, I should mention that Jack's first tooth is peeking through his gums. That could have something to do with the diarrhea.

Maybe there's hope.

It's not over.

The baby still isn't better.

I don't know what to do.

In addition to the explosive diarrhea, Jack is having an allergic reaction to __something__. I'm not exactly sure what's causing it. In the last week we've introduced yogurt (at the doctors suggestion), sensitive wipes for the diaper rash, and a new lotion for the horrible eczema. Rich is also having a reaction on his hands from changing the baby so much which tells me that it is probably the wipes. I haven't had a reaction other than I am so tired, and it is excruciating to hear Jack be so miserable. Jack hates having his clothes changed, and now we have to change him 3 and 4 times a day and usually one pajama change in the night because his diaper can't contain it all. It has been a week and a half of this. Poor baby!!!

And Poor Momma and Daddy. Apart form the extra loads of laundry and having to miss so much work, we are just nervous wrecks. What's happening to our kid? The doc says, "Wait it out."

Enough, already!

I'm taking another sick day tomorrow to stay home with Jack and Rich is taking Friday for another doctor appointment (6 month shots). I guess we'll have to farkle for the middle days if this continues for another week..

We're all exhausted

Jack is sick.

He has had a horrible stomach bug since Thanksgiving and he can't seem to shake it, no matter what. Rich and I took him to the doctor today after several concerned calls because we're worried that he is dehydrated and losing weight. Fortunately, the doctor said that Jack looks OK hydration-wise and reassured us that we were doing all that we can do for him. We will just have to wait it out. It may take another week or two.

Obviously, Jack is not allowed to go to daycare, not that we want to take him, but we are both missing a lot of work to be home. I'm at the point where I really don't care about my job, anyway, so it isn't a huge sacrifice, other than when I do go back to work it is hard to pick up where we left off. I'm lost. The kids are lost. They don't do what the sub asks. The sub may not ask them to do what I've assigned. So everyone is at a stalemate. Stress.

Rich has really been amazing, though. He has changed more dirty diapers than anyone should have to in a lifetime. He does this at all hours of the night - changed diapers, sheets, clothes... He has stayed home from work more days than I have. He has done so with the most happy, positive attitude I have seen anyone have in a circumstance like this. I believe him now when he says he wants to be a stay at home dad. He is far better at staying at home than I am. I think I add stress and anxiety to household. I need to be at work to stay sane.. except that work, as I've already mentioned, really sucks lately.

But on the positive, we're taking it one day at a time. Other than explosive diarrhea and a little bit of diaper rash, Jack is relatively healthy and has been sleeping through the night. Fortunately, I didn't have to take any maternity days since I had Jack in June, so I have a little stockpile saved up, and I don't think they will dock my pay for being out so much.

Poor Baby Jack. I just want him to get well. More than anything.

Jack's first blog post

Jack would now like to post something.

Here he is thinking about what to say:

(Yes, he did scratch a perfect line in the center of his forehead. Nice.)

And here he is typing:

And here is what he wrote:

H5TJYUK/ C V GHGNNNRYYU X N?/

Apparently he was very emphatic since he wrote in all caps. I think it says, "I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!" or maybe it's an S.O.S., "Please! Save me from them!" He's been known to actually close the window I'm working in so I have to turn off the touch pad when he's near, the little trickster!

Hey look what I can do!!

I can sit up by myself..

..which means I can play without momma having to constantly hold me (shocking, right!)..

..plus I'm adorable in my overalls..

...AND not in my overalls!

Hair

Jack's hair looks like this after a bath and in the morning:

Poor Jack

Teething sucks.

5 months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

You are five months old!! Of course I now have to sing the "You're a big frog now you're five!" song daily, nay hourly.. OK, fine. Minutely. And you mostly tolerate it. But when you don't, you REALLY don't.

I don't have long to write this morning since I need to get ready for work and you need to get ready for Nanny's, but here are a few things that have happened/ are happening this month for you.

* You love to stand up and we love it that you pretty much can when we take off your socks, that is. If we don't, you slide all over the place, especially if I'm wearing wind pants. Sitting up is still an issue, as is tummy time.

* You HATE rice cereal. And we refuse to add anything to it yet, including apple sauce. Solids are still a no go. And that rice cereal caked in momma's hair, dripping down the walls, coating the cat.. Yeah, not funny, Jack. I get it. You DON'T like it.

* You hate long sleeved ______________. Fill in the blank with any of the following: pj's, onesies, sweaters, jackets, (name your own)

*You love playing super baby and you fight all the meanies in the room to protect the innocent. Then you stand back, a stoic look on your face, imagining your superhero cape flying proudly in the wind..though really it's just your bib that is constantly turning sideways and backwards. How does that happen? But whatever. You saved the day!

* You like outside, until you don't.

* You laugh and squeal and coo a lot of the time! That makes me laugh and squeal and coo too!

*You are getting your first tooth. I can see it about to break through. Hold on to your butts, everybody.

*Nap time=FUSSY time.

*You're starting to notice toys! Finally. Whew.

I'm sorry I don't have time this month to write more, sweet Jack, so I have to end this abruptly. Such is the life of a working mom. I will say that I love you and I'm so glad you are in my life. I can't wait to see what comes next!

Love, Momma

What We're Up To, A Study In Threes

Telling Secrets

Mirror Gazing

Playing With New Toys

Just to clarify..

I'm not NaBloPoMoing here. I'm NaBloPoMoing over at De-Comp. Here I'll blog whenever I feel like it. I won't be held captive by the Man at this site. Nope. Not held by anything.. except grandparents. And actually, they can be pretty intimidating, you know. (wink)

The point is, I'm not a slacker.

I'll keep you guys updated on the goings on in Jack's life - For example, today I learned that four month olds do not understand Daylight Savings. And we're (Jack and I)both exhausted. Jack finally cried himself out - in our arms (Rich and I trading tuns to keep some semblance of sanity). I cried too, and now I have to go and do homework.

Ick.

But I'm telling you this because I want to. And to let you know that De-Comp is where the NaBlo is! Go there!

First Halloween

Thank you all for helping to make Jack B'hat's first Halloween successful. Jack was an adorable Tootsie Roll, though I had to convince him that wearing a costume was an OK thing to do.

I have to say that I was really looking forward to Jack's first Halloween. I dressed him in his orange pumpkin onesie and jack-o-lantern bib to go to Nanny Delaney's. I couldn't wait to pick him up after school! I had such plans - which also including picking up the house a little so that the neighbors would not be horrified by the crime scene that is my living room (I could just imagine them ringing the doorbell, "trick or ...what the hell is that? Did the earthquake do this? Shit, " and then running away so that the bug-of-chaos wouldn't bite them too.)

We got home and Jack was slightly fussy. I decided to take him for a walk. After all, we had plenty of time before Halloween actually started.. So I did. And as usual, Jack fell asleep in the stroller. When we got home, I tried to put him down for a nap, but he woke up and decided that his afternoon nap was a sham, he was mad as hell, and he wouldn't take it...anymore. Fine.

I put him in his chair a plopped him in front of the TV to watch It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, one of my favorite movies of all time. Jack watched quite a bit of it while I set out jack-o-lanterns, picked up and made his dinner. Right before I fed him, I decided to put the tootsie roll costume on Jack.. But there was a slight problem.. The costume wouldn't fit over Jack's ginormous head. He got stuck. And that, as it would for anyone, pissed him off severely.

Luckily, I am not too proud to ruin a perfectly good costume that I bought on line and could have saved for posterity. I immediately broke out the sheers and made the neck hole bigger. Then I took the sheers to the back of the costume and cut all of the way up. Who in the hell decided that it was possible to pull (what felt like) ten yards of fabric over a baby's head is an idiot. So, I split the costume, made lacing holes, found some string, and laced that bad boy up. It worked!

I fed the baby, put him back in his costume, took him outside to show him off to the neighbors, got the candy ready for the trick-or-treators, and nearly collapsed from being so exhausted.

Jack fussed for most of that time..

Rich got home around 7:00, just as I was making myself a cocktail. He held the baby as I reheated some soup and answered the door for the neighborhood kids - not one of whom ran screaming from our house. We bathed Jack and put him to bed.

And that was his first Halloween (and mine as a momma).

Being resourceful in a time of great need

**Thanks to Donna for this!!!

JACK-o-lanterns

Click on the picture to see the slideshow with captions

From Halloween 08

Jack's first attempt at cereal went like this:

Interested.

Trying it.


Drooling it out.

Rinse and repeat. All things considered, I'd say it was a successful first big person feeding.

It's never too early..

..to vote.

Date Night Revised...

Now that we are three, this is what date night looks like:

It sort of resembles a date in that there are wine and candles.. But clearly it is not so romantic considering the plastic salad container, the cheese in a bag, and oh yeah: A BABY!

p.s. Dear company who made the baby seat,

It seems that there are giraffes eating my baby's brain. Oh. And, NICE. TURTLE. PLACEMENT.

4 Months

Dear Jack B'Hat,

Yesterday you turned 4 months old. The reason I didn't write this yesterday is because we were way busy yesterday. First of all, your Pawpaw and Sugar are visiting. That in itself is a parade complete with marching, glitter, baton twirling, and sparklers! In fact, as Daddy and I were leaving to go have martinis and sushi (the date time we get when Pawpaw is here), I was a little jealous as, on our way out the door, I heard her tell you that you could do anything you want. You could even have chocolate for dinner! And yes, I do realize that you can't, in fact, have chocolate yet, but store up those promises, kid, and you'll be having chocolate and ice cream and all things lovely and sweet year round.

Also, this was the Texas/OU week-end in the metroplex. It is the football game of the year here in Texas. Even fans who do not support either team eagerly watch the game just so that they know to talk about that "weird fumbly OU touch down" or "the bad calls" while standing around the work water cooler. For the actual fans, this event is an invitation to descend upon the metroplex and gorge themselves on food, football, and beer - as much as a human body can take, in fact. Really, it's best for the residents to sort of hunker down and hope our emergency supplies don't run out. That's what we did. We watched the game, and then we watched the Texas Tech game, then there was British soccer, followed by FC Dallas soccer, and then a Stars game.

We were busy.

But enough of excuses. We did what people should do on their birthday. We hung out together in our pajamas most of the day, and enjoyed each other's company. We celebrated the fact that we were all together and safe and happy. And there was guacamole!

But once again, and ever and always, you are well loved, Baby. We celebrate you everyday!

Love,
Momma

Family

Last night I was feeling kind of low, and was "sort of sleeping" all night. I couldn't find a comfortable spot and my mind was running crazy. I kept listening for any sign of Jack over the monitor, wondering if he was dreaming, and if so, what about. He's been having some night terrors lately, where he screams like someone's just pinched him in his sleep. He's also been very restless lately, waking up several times a night, not really wanting to eat, not really sleepy. We've been at a loss about it.

Around 4:00 am, I heard Jack stir. Rich got up to check on him and fed him half of a bottle. I listened to the goings on in Jack's room over the monitor, as I do every night when it's Rich's shift, to know that yes, the baby's eating; OK now he's burping; that's a diaper change; he's back down.. etc. When Rich put Jack down to see if he would sleep any more, Jack was restless.

I tiptoed into his room to see what was going on. He lay there wide-eyed, blinking at me. I picked him up and carried him into our room, into our bed between us. And Jack grinned at me hugely as he snuggled in.

Most nights, I rock Jack and sing to him right before he goes to bed. A lot of times, as he listens he grins at me and melts my heart. Reflexively I grin back. It's wonderfully soothing to both of us.

As I mentioned, I wasn't having a very good night last night, and as soon as we were settled, we began our nightly routine. Only this time Jack was singing a sweet lullabye to me. As he sang his little baby sounds, he kept raising his eyebrows like I do when I sing to him. He made me grin, and he grinned back. And we fell asleep soundly for an hour, until my alarm reminded me that I have other responsibilities too.

But I sometimes forget that being a momma is not just about me taking care of Baby Jack. We are a family now. As much as he needs me, I need him. That, I've found, is one of the loveliest things of all.

Momma's trying too hard

OK. First of all, count the number of toys in the picture.
I think you can find a zebra, a drum (a plastic bowl and wooden spoon), a rattle, a boppy, and a bumbo seat. But what you don't see is the plush monkey, Deiter (...touch him); some plastic letter rings, specifically "L," "B" and "J"; an entire rain forest jungle gym, complete with giraffe (??), music, and blinking lights; and a momma in a high pitched baby voice whining, "Hi Baby Jack. Do you want to play? Are you having some fun? Fun, Baby Jack? Yesh you are! Yesh you are! Right Baby Jack? Yesh! OOOH! I love you!"

The sum of all of that equals this:

I didn't think I'd see this level of disgust until his teenage years. Wait, is he pretending to throw something at me?

And then came:

Isn't playtime fun? "Yesh it is, Baby Jack! Yesh it is!"

OR

Momma's annoying.. "Yesh I am, Baby Jack! Yesh I am!"

Cotton Candy Sweetie Go

Let me see the Tootsie Roll!

Jack will be a Tootsie Roll for Halloween which is the costume that 10 of you picked! Hooray!

Thanks for playing everyone!

Now dip,baby, dip.
Dip, baby, dip
And slide...

Laughing Jack!

I didn't get a picture of it because I was so excited, but my Baby Jack B'Hat laughed on purpose for the first time last night!!

I say "on purpose" because there were times when he was sleeping his Moses basket by the side of our bed when in the middle of the night we would hear a slow, maniacal,"he he he," coming from the basket which would interrupt our REM cycles and scare the living bejeezus out of us to the point that we were afraid to look in on Jack, unsure of what we'd find.* So, we would respond by raising our eyebrows at one another and nervously snicker back, both of us thinking, "What the hell was that? Is that normal? Should we pray?"

Anywho.

Jack gave us several genuine laughs last night! And it was so awesome! And I immediately interrupted the football game, grabbed the game announcer's mic and shouted for all of the town to hear, "Did you hear it?! Listen! He's doing it again! My kid is laughing and he's adorable and I"M HIS MOMMA!!!" And the crowd, stunned at first, started a slow clap - when they realized the magnatude of what I had just said - that ended in wild cheers and handshakes! And there were streamers and glitter, and I was lifted on some shoulders and there was a parade!

OK, it wasn't that dramatic. I only made the declaration to Rich..

But still! It was enthusiastic.

Excuse me while I post the (real) details for posterity's sake:

Who: Momma, Daddy, and Jack

What: Jack genuinely laughs outloud for the first time

When: September 26, 2008

Where: Colt football game during the 2nd quarter, in the stands

Why: Momma was telling baby Jack about a kid who was playing in the game, but who was absent in class today and how that was a bad idea...ineligibility... missing class is bad... Beowulf assignment... book shortage...31 kids...blocked schedule..chicken minis..free antennae cow..blah blah blah..

And Jack thought it was hilarious!


*And on a side note, it isn't wise to google the words, "possessed and baby" on the same line. Seriously Mom. Don't look.

** And holy shit! (because, seriously, that's what we'll classify the article as) I do not believe one word in that crazy-ass Bible thumpin' thumb bitin' story. I linked it for humor's sake ONLY, and though I laughed, I was also horrified! But also, I now know never to travel to North Dakota. Phew. That was a close one.

Uh Oh, It's Magic!

Thank God for easy nights.

I mean it.

Our after school schedule is pretty basic. I pick up Jack from Nanny DeLaney's around 4:00. We come home and play (talk and tummy time) and he eats around 4:30 or 5:00. Sometimes Jack takes a little nap afterwards. Sometimes he doesn't. He takes a bath between 6:30 and 7:00; we "top him off" food wise between 7 and 7:30; and he is usually in bed by 8:00. Unfortunately, most afternoons are spent relishing the time between fussy moments. Jack will be playing and smiling then, all of a sudden, he's mad!! And he doesn't cry, really. He yells. Loudly. And conversation will sound something (or exactly) like this:

"Do you think he needs to burp?"

"WHAT?"

"Or maybe he's dirty?"

"WHAT?"

"Is he tired?"

"I CAN"T HEAR YOU!!! Dammit! Baby Jack, what is it? Please, for the love of all that is holy and good.. Please, please, please stop yelling. I swear I'll be a better person. Dear God, please."

"Have you checked his diaper?"

"what.."

and so on..
Sometimes it takes 30 minutes to calm him. Sometimes he isn't calm until his eyes close.

But then there are evenings like tonight when Jack is completely wonderful and happy and playful. He was happy to take a bath. He was happy to have company. He was even happy to dirty his diaper. He went to sleep with no trouble at all.

It's nights like tonight that seem almost magical, when you feel like you're doing some things right or like you can allow yourself some confidence as a parent. My baby was happy all afternoon! And that makes me so, so happy, too.

Tummy Time ! . ?

This is what tummy time looks like at our house, and this happens in the amount of time it takes to glance at each picture:

Halloween is only a month away!

I am REALLY excited about Jack's first Halloween. That said, I am aware that he will not remember it at all, but I am also aware that in the distant future when Jack is on a first date with a person who might possibly be "The One," an interesting anecdote he can share that will give his date great insight into his psychoses personality will be the story of what his mom dressed him as on his very first Halloween. It will be during that conversation when Jack's date will make a decision about whether or not she will marry into this family or whether she will run for the hills screaming and tearing at her hair. No pressure, though.

I thought I'd run some ideas by you to help me decide. You may vote (if I've set it up correctly) in the sidebar and you may vote for more than one costume. Here are the choices:

peanut

car freshener

tootsie roll

turtle

woopie cushion

Elvis

Or feel free to make a suggestion.. (that does not involve medication for me).

**Considerations: One of the costumes has no arm holes and Jack, as I've explained before, is a thumb sucker. That could be a potential problem. Also, if Jack were to get the turtle costume, he more than likely would model it better than that lazy kid in the picture. Seriously. Perk up, kid.

Also note that I am not obligated to choose any of these. By Halloween we may decide that Jack is going as a baby in a onesie, depending on our exhaustion levels. But I think Rich will still try to take him trick-or-treating. And afterwards he will do his fatherly duty and "check" all of the candy to make sure it is safe.